Keira Elizabeth
Born at Home on Friday night, January 4th, 11:18pm….9lbs 12oz
In attendance, husband and midwives Emily Friar and Julie Martin

PRE-LABOR
December 24th, 2007….
Even though my due date wasn’t until the 28th, quite a few changes took place on the 24th.  Maybe because of the full moon?  First: the baby ‘dropped’.  When I got up that morning, I noticed that my belly ring was suddenly quite painful, and after staying in for all these weeks, here in the home stretch, it had to go.  Ouch!  While delicately removing the belly ring, I noticed in the mirror that my shape was suddenly different too……less ‘perky beach ball’, more ‘droopy watermelon’.  Ah-ha!  So this is what they call ‘dropping’!  Second:  Another joyous discovery….drum roll please…stretch marks!  Again, nearly 40 weeks without them and Boom!  Surprise…tiger stripes!  (But don’t worry, it’s all worth it!)  But Baby didn’t show up.  Friends and relatives who were betting on the full moon to bring the baby out lost undisclosed amounts of money.

Weds. January 2nd   Due date of December 28th had come and gone with nothing too interesting to report other than just how fun it is to see people’s reaction to the ubiquitous question of “When’s the baby due?” and I get to answer, “Last week.”
Anyway, I was cleaning up after breakfast and squoosh.  A little bit, but very noticeable amount of watery discharge leaked out.  No, my waters hadn’t broken, but the water was tinged with brownish blood.  Fun!  After the second bit came out a few hours later, I was excited enough to call the midwives and let them know of my progress.  They told me it was wonderful news, and indicated changes in my cervix, and to keep them informed of anything else new.  I decided NOT to call my husband at work to worry him since obviously, nothing was REALLY happening yet.   Of course, during all this, my mom called and I told her the news and she spread the word as if I was going into labor NOW!!   By the time the end of the day rolled around, I had been spotting brown watery stuff several times throughout the day and I decided to call my husband with a grocery list…….we had made a ‘what to do when I go into labor’ “fire drill” sheet, and since of course we were planning a homebirth, the first thing on the list for ‘early labor’ was for him to stock up on groceries.  I AM VERY, VERY HAPPY THAT WE GOT GROCERIES ON WEDS…because if we would have waited until I was ‘really’ going into labor, that NEVER would have happened.
                 
Thurs. Morning, January 3rd 4:30am.  I  wake up to contractions.  Yes!  This has GOT to be the real thing.  These Braxton-Hicks have a real bite to them.  Not terribly painful, but I am breathing deeply through them.  But they’re very, very far apart.  30-45 minutes.  Each contraction lasts for maybe 30 seconds or so.  I tell my husband he should probably go ahead and go to work since they’re so far apart…and everything I’ve read about labor says there’s a LONG first stage of light contractions…(as long as he will be working nearby and can come home quickly if he needs to!!!)  He goes to work, I go back to sleep, since I’ve also read that if you think you’re in early labor, you should get plenty of sleep to rest up for the real labor later.  (I had read a lot.  Probably too much!)

I slept until 1:00 that afternoon, each contraction waking me up like clockwork…I wrote them all down to keep track.  No closer together, no stronger.  And they stopped coming by the early afternoon.  I had wasted almost my entire day in bed!  My husband came home from work early that day, and brought home take-out Chinese.  We all know the stories about Chinese food and pregnant women, huh??? 

6pm:  Contractions start again.  Not painful, but very noticeable.  And quite regular.  Every 10 minutes apart, each one about 30-45 seconds or so.  Should I call the midwives?  Naaaaah. Not yet!  The contractions seemed to strengthen a bit around 9pm, but again, they spread out and grew lighter as the night progressed.  Since I had slept all day, I couldn’t get to sleep, so I took a sleeping bag outside at midnight and laid out in the yard under the crispy cold pitch blackness, checking out the stars and shooting stars.  I had always pictured having a baby on a night like this.  While out there, I had a couple of pretty strong contractions, but no real big deal.  I finally got tired and went to bed around 3am.

BIRTH STORY:
Friday, January 4th, 4:00am…Contractions woke me up again.  Strongest ones yet.  My husband nearly jumped out of bed when he was awakened by my heavy breathing.  We timed them.  10 minutes apart.  45 seconds each.  We stayed up awhile timing them.  By 4:30, they were coming every 5 minutes at a minute each.  Whoa!  This is happening TOO FAST.  We called Emily.  She was cheerful, even at 4 in the morning. Said it was ‘exciting’ and to be sure to call her right away if I ‘went inside myself’ or if the contractions grew stronger.  In the meantime, she said if she hadn’t heard anything else from us, try to get some rest and she’d check in by 9am.  The contractions stayed at about the same frequency and strength until Emily called us back at 8:30.  Nope, nothing new to report, still happening, but not getting stronger….She said she’d call back at 11am if she still hadn’t heard anything from us, but in the meantime, she wanted me to be sure to eat something to keep my strength up.

9:00 am   Out of nowhere, the contractions are suddenly coming 2 and 3 minutes apart, and are lasting for 1:15 seconds to 1:45 seconds.  The peanut butter and jelly I made goes completely uneaten.  Who in the world can eat during labor?  I always thought it sounded like a good idea.  It still sounds like a good idea, but it was completely impossible for me to actually do.  After timing these new contractions for a half an hour, my husband calls Emily again, a bit worried.  We both think we might be delivering this baby by ourselves, as we are 35 minutes away from Buena Vista if you’re lucky enough to NOT get behind a tractor trailer on the winding mountain highway.  I am a little disappointed thinking there’s no way we’re going to have time to fill the birth pool before this baby comes.  My husband is pacing the house between the hose filling the birth pool, the bedroom to check on me, and the window to check for the midwives.  I’m kneeling on the floor in the bedroom, leaning over the bed and calling all my friends and family between contractions… “Hello?  It’s me…I’m in labor, it’s the real thing, I’m sure.  It’s going to be today….2 minutes apart…here comes another one….gotta go…BYE!!!”  The contractions are very strong and take quite a bit to get through them, but I’m in good spirits.  I’m going to have a quick labor, just like my mom did!  (hahahahahahahahaaaaa…yeh riiiiiiiiiight!!!)

10:30am   Nope, the baby hasn’t come yet!  Emily shows up, sets up her stuff.  She watches me thru several contractions.  I’m not really paying much attention to what she’s doing.  She later said that it seemed as if things were moving rather quickly and she thought the baby would be here by early afternoon.  So wise of her not to say so then, but only after the fact!!    Of course, I decided that my mental state was what kept me from having the baby sooner…even after 9 months of thinking about it, I still really wasn’t ready to actually have a baby.  This pregnancy was certainly NOT planned and I think that was a HUGE thing for me to come to terms with.  Dunno….But I am very resistant to change, especially change on such a large scale….enough about that!  Back to the story.

Contractions continue….Labor is such a weird thing.  I go from intense concentration to complete relaxation.  I go from moaning and making crazy and obnoxious noises (and sometimes saying very colorful words) to chatting with the midwives about making themselves at home and “Be sure to heat up the chicken soup, don’t want you to go hungry!”  Julie arrives sometime after noon I think.  Not sure of the time, as I didn’t want to look at ANY clocks, just wanted to get thru each contraction.  I couldn’t have done it without my husband.  He was there to support me…and I mean physically support me in every contraction in whatever odd position I wanted to hang from him in.  We had promised friends and family that we’d give them updates as things progressed.  How wrong we were to assume that things would progress nicely from light labor to hard labor.  I was pretty much in hard labor all day and wouldn’t let my husband get away for a moment!  I had seconds, not minutes, between contractions to relax and there’s no calling anyone in that amount of time.  If we ever do this again, (hahahaha!!!!) I would have a list of a few names for the midwives to call with periodic updates instead of thinking my husband would be able to do it.  I NEEDED HIM WITH ME AT ALL TIMES….HE WAS THE BEST DOULA A GIRL COULD EVER HAVE HOPED FOR!!!!

2:00pm???  Birth pool had been ready for awhile, and I was ready for some relief.  The wrap I had been wearing came off, and I was naked the rest of the day!  Woohoo!!  One thing I learned about labor…there’s no such thing as modesty---and you really don’t give a hoot anyway when you’re in the midst of it!  I never had so many people so close to my nekkid bum for so long in my life, and I really didn’t care one bit.  (Now looking back, I’m a bit embarrassed about it…oops!)  Anyway, back to the pool……it was WONDERFUL.  Contractions were still strong, but seemed easier to bear.  The birth pool provided by the midwives was just the right size, big enough to float in…strong enough to withstand leaning against the sides and bracing on the handles inside for contractions.  Not too deep that I couldn’t step in or out of it in throes of labor without killing my waddling pregnant self!  But after several hours in there, it became apparent that for me, this time, a water birth was probably not going to happen.  I guess I associate warm water too much with relaxation, and I wasn’t getting anything done while in there.  I wasn’t working, I was relaxing.  I was ignoring the contractions (Calgon, take me away!) instead of letting the contractions take me where they needed to take me….No, labor hadn’t stopped or slowed, but it sure wasn’t getting stronger either.  It was with a bit of disappointment that I followed the midwives’ suggestion that I try to labor outside the pool for awhile.  (Oh….while in the pool I finally lost my mucus plug!  What a lovely sight THAT thing is!)

Meanwhile, I’m trying to ignore the clock, trying to ignore the fact that I thought I’d have this baby by the afternoon, and now, the sun was setting.  How depressing to see the windows grow dark as the evening fell.  And the contractions were still coming hot & heavy!

Evening…Throughout labor, we tried lots of different things……..hula-hooping, bellydancing (a lovely sight, I’m sure).  Leaning over the bed.  Hanging from the window sill.  Hanging from my husband (good thing he’s strong!!!!)  ‘Horse lips’ to blow out with each contraction.  I tried making low open sounds…and MAN what crazy sounds were coming out of me.  Again, the whole modesty thing?  Completely thrown out the window.   The whole time, the midwives were quietly in the background, keenly observing---my husband and I were such a good team, they said, that they thought it would be best to let us do this thing together with little interference.  Of course they made gentle suggestions of position changes or whatever to help things along, and they were there for moral support, homeopathic remedies, and even gave me a nice massage at one point to give my husband a bit of a break I suppose!  And after some particularly frightening noises came out of me, they were there to say “Good Job, Niki!!!  Very good work!”  So funny in retrospect.  They were constantly giving me water with vitamins and stuff in it to keep my energy going.  A few times, I felt near panic, thinking I’d never get this baby out of me, but they were always there smiling and telling me what a great job I was doing and that everything was progressing nicely.  Since I had no idea whether things were progressing well or not, I had to believe them when their smiles and easygoing demeanor showed no hint of worry whatsoever.  Such great support!!!  I really have no concept of time or what was really happening that evening, but when I found my way to the bathroom with the need to throw up, I consciously thought, “This is it…I’ve read about ‘transition’ and this is it…I’m really going to have this baby soon now!”  I actually looked at the time then.  A little after 7pm.  So I suppose I was in transition for 4 hours, huh?  Again, I think it was a symptom of me reading too much, being too much in my head and not enough in my body to make things work!

Sortof  pushy contractions started not long after that…..but I was getting nowhere fast.  The midwives checked my dilation then……..I was still at a 6!  I tried not to worry.  Emily helped me stretch past an 8…OUCH…but in a weird way, it actually felt good.  Still feeling pushy (but not the “real” pushing contractions as I was to find out soon.)  Still not getting anything done.  They suggested I lay down on my side through a few contractions and I remember being very angry about that, thinking they were nuts….  It hurt horribly to lay down during contractions, moving was the only thing that felt good.  But again, I think it was my own mental block that kept me from opening up like I needed to get this baby out.  I was skirting around the pain, tiptoeing on the fringes of it thru each contraction instead of really riding it and letting it take me where I needed to go.  I was focusing too much on making noise and making movement---both effective pain management techniques, but for me, I realize now that I was only distracting myself from the work that had to be done.  I learned I had to face the pain head-on to get anything done, to open up.  So laying down actually helped.  I hated every minute of it, but it really helped me to progress.  And again, my husband helped coach me thru it all---between the contractions, he’d tell me to ‘go to sleep until the next one came’ and in that weird place of no pain at all that exists between contractions (what a trip that is!!! Complete blissful rest for 15 seconds!!!) I was getting rested up.  In the back of my mind, I was worried that the baby would never come out…I was worried I was getting too tired and wondering if I might have to go to the hospital to have things ‘helped along’.  Strangely enough, it never occurred to me to want to go to the hospital for pain relief….I certainly did want to get it over with……but wanted to do it on my own at my own house! 

When I got seriously pushy feeling, one of the midwives at one point held a warm cloth to my bottom…yes there……and told me I should be pushing toward the cloth.  Well, slap me over the head with a 2 x 4!……I had always heard that having a baby was like pushing a bowling ball out your bum, but thought that was a ‘ha-ha’ funny thing to say.  No, it’s completely and utterly true, it’s literally what you are doing.  I had no idea that I should be feeling like I was pooping!  OK.  I told you all modesty is out the door, but it’s true.  If someone had told me this sooner as something other than a quaint story, I may have had the kid much sooner!  I don’t fault anyone for this, I just had no earthly idea!!!!  I thought you’d feel it ‘in the middle’……….but no, you quite literally feel like you’re pooping out a baby.  Gross, maybe, but true!  Remember, in labor, all modesty is gone…but who cares.  I had to get that baby OUT!!!! 

So finally, we make it back into the bathroom for some warm water relief from the shower after some really, really good pushing contractions in the dark on my bed.  (Darkness is good.  No distractions.  Just me inside myself making things work like they needed to. And my water finally ‘broke’ while I was getting these great contractions too.)  I had a very hard time walking to the bathroom since quite literally by then, there was a big head (14 ½ inches of it!)  beginning to descend into my birth canal.  Ever tried to walk with sand in your pants at the beach?  Sorta like that, but you can’t just dump it out with the next good wave that hits.  (Or can’t you?)

It was here that things really started to happen, and fast.  I was quite literally hanging from my husband thru contractions, he was holding me off the floor while I stretched on him, my back to him while he supported me from behind.   I can imagine that pulling with your arms/hanging from a rope or a strap or bar or even a tree branch would be a great position for labor, and that position seemed to really help me get the job done.  I ended up in my bathtub.  (No water in it)  A birth stool magically appeared beneath my bum and I rested there between contractions, though it didn’t feel too good since there was still that sand in the pants feeling.  I hung from my husband for another good pushing contraction.  Emily told me to stay lower for the next ones…..because, guess what?  She could see the head.  She held a mirror down there for us to see.  I told her that was great, but didn’t want to see anymore……..ahhhhhhh! Here comes another contraction.  I was so excited I was actually going to get this done!  I was going to do it!!!!!!!  My husband was noticeably more excited too…this was it!!!  At this point, I’d been in labor so long I didn’t give a flying fig if I tore with the delivery of the head, I just wanted the baby OUT!!!  Another contraction and the head crowned……I was told to wait and I’m pretty sure I did wait thru another one……waiting for the perineum to stretch…….things are blurred…….another contraction and wooo!  The stinging!  But I didn’t really care at all…and the head was OUT…..whoa, what a trip!  Highly recommended…talk about feeling alive!  Between the final contractions I could feel the baby shift and roll inside me…what a crazy feeling…….and another contraction and the rest of the body came out smoothly and quickly.  And I was holding a baby…….a living creature that was looking at me and my husband and the midwives with curiosity before the baby split into a wail of “WhatHaveYouJustDoneToMe????” 

So much for the peaceful water birth!  But it all worked out for the best.  I tore a bit with the delivery, (9lbs 12oz of baby….phew!) so it was easier for Julie and Emily to judge the amount of blood loss, and was certainly easier to clean up.  And I just sat there holding this baby not sure what to do while it cried and kept looking around the room.  My 5’ X 5’ bathroom now had 5 people in it.  Me, my husband, Julie, Emily…and a baby.  The pain was completely gone, just like that.  The baby’s head was perfectly round (I had only actually been pushing effectively for a very short while) she was completely pink, and completely beautiful from the moment I saw her.  Her umbilical cord was short and between her legs, so we couldn’t tell what sex she was right away.  I felt with the hand that was holding her bum and was pretty sure… it’s…… a …….. GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  After she felt like she protested the delivery enough, Keira immediately latched on to my breast while the midwives hurried to dry her off and wrap her up while still in my arms so she’d stay warm….all this before the placenta was ‘born’.  Light contractions returned and very quickly, I delivered a blood clot first.  Not too good, but the midwives kept their cool and encouraged me to do the same and all turned out well.  Soon after, the placenta was ‘birthed’ and Keira continued to nurse, helping things to seal up nicely inside. 

So that’s about it.  There’s more to it of course, but I’ve already written a novel.  I’m just adding things that I thought had been left out of other birth stories I’ve read here and there……..those questions I still found myself asking after reading other stories.  The nitty gritty dirty parts of labor.  It’s amazing, it’s the craziest trip you’ll ever be on….it’s an awesome force of nature that I am so happy I was able to experience completely aware of its subtleties and not-so-subtleties……..and then you end up with a child….a combination of you and your husband or whoever……that little creature that’s been kicking inside all these months is finally out, and is actually making eye contact with you.  What a total crazy trip it all is.  I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful daughter now and I feel so fortunate to have found Emily Friar and Julie Martin to care for me throughout the pregnancy and beyond, and of course to help welcome Keira safely into this world!